I was looking through my phone one day bored as hell and picked this girl I met last month to grab lunch. From what I remember she was beautiful but my friend said don't fuck with her she is materialistic with the worst personality. I didn't care, I'll try it out.
As we ate I got a general idea of her. She has no idea what to do in life, very dependent, and yes materialistic. But not THAT materialistic that my friend made it out to be. The dinner concluded we said good byes and I honestly had a good time.
I thought to myself how far I can take this...? I texted her again to come drink after work almost an instantaneous yes. Which was very odd so we went. Got in, asked her what would you like to drink? "Macallan 18" I smirked because that is a fucking hell no. The owner came and greeted me and gave me a free bottle of my favorite scotch. As we're nearing half the bottle, I realize this is not a good girl.
Got into more personal topics, she starts of course talking about her ex. How he always gave her money, bought her bags, and was so caring. I played along uh huh uh huh uh huh. What she didn't know is I know her ex because the girl hes seeing had a thing with me. On top of that she came over to my house a week ago.
Tired of hearing about her ex, i brought up an idea to go in the room and sing karaoke. the bottle is about 75% gone by now between the two of us. I thought to myself I wont hesitate anymore because I fucked up so bad on the last girl I was dating. I went in for the kiss, of course she moved away. I went again and she kissed me back. After 30 min of eating each other faces she got hungry and ordered food. She started cutting up everything and feeding me. HUGE turn on.
Her girlfriends were in the vicinity and she started introducing me to them and then laid back in my arms. I guess i made a little name for myself, when these youngstas already knew who i am.
She got real sleepy I asked her to come over, but she replied she had school early the next day. Good! or that would've been way too easy.
Few days go by, I invited her for wine at my work. She said her birthday was coming up and really wanted a cake from Jean Philippe but last year her ex couldn't get it. I laughed and said which one you want send me a picture. She was in disbelief theres no way its in 3 days. I said i'm considered an executive here i'll make it happen. The way she smiled and said okay... made me feel good
Of course I got her a custom $300 cake. I just did it to hint how much power I really have and I didn't spend a dime. Told her it was ready for pick-up after 6pm. As she was on the way I said I can bring it
....did i fucking fall asleep after writing this? fuck this hoe.
These last two days was one of the best I had in a long time. I met someone from Julliard. I didn't even know it was that prestige. Traveling the world to play in grand events while enjoying what you like... That is really cool. I hope to see you when I go to LA this June until then.
I remember back in the day I couldn't sleep because of a huge pain running down my left leg due to sciatic pain. When I had a bad case of pneumonia and coughing up blood. When I twisted my back again hiking and i couldn't stand up straight. When I was almost blinded in my left eye for two weeks. Can not measure up to those words I heard from you..."I got engaged." Good thing I'm a great actor surprised I held it all in. Strange thing is, not to sound cliche, I'm not even mad heh.
I asked shouldn't you be happier to gauge you. But how you replied and the excuse made me feel deep down inside that he isn't the one. When my gut is this strong the insight is usually true. However I hope I'm wrong.
I hope everyday he treats you for what you are really worth. Someone who truly deserves the title of extraordinary.
I don't ever want to meet your fiance, and definitely never as your husband so lets leave it at that.
I'm still in disbelief that I got my promotion. I'm at one of the premiere properties and it feels so good. I got a lot of eyes on me right now, and mostly positive vibes. Sometimes I get the "how the fuck did you get here" look. My next jump will be one of the hardest... I have 3 years to make it as a director. As long as I don't remain complacent i SHOULD be able to do it.
I'm moving out in two weeks. To learn to take care of myself... this should be interesting. Then I'm going to buy my parents and sister a house to live in. What is this weird feeling like i'm growing up?
Yeah, been on the move like the lease is up
And I can't even name one person that's keepin' up
Damn, fuck how I was in the past tense
Ask himself, how do we match up now?
Cause I'm only 27 and I'm only gettin' better
If I haven't passed you yet, watch me catch up now, forreal
Here I go again on this self defeating phase. I just lost 3k, been drinking everyday, and playing mindless video games on hours on end. Why am I doing this when I'm about to get a promotion?
Damn I guess that shit really affected me. I can't stand being home when all these thoughts of you comes flooding in. It is always the same memory of the last night. When you asked me, "why did you never ask me to be your girlfriend?" I sat there and said I don't know. But I did know.
Because I'm scared of giving my all again... I'm fucked up I know. The feeling of being completely vulnerable again... worries me. It deters me from what I really want. Plus the last two times I asked that question, I go the most stupidest answers. Its never a fucking no nor a fucking yes.
It is time to stop being stubborn... What I'm doing is wrong. I'll take my peers advice of stop being too nice. Don't put them on this pedestal. Treat them like shit sometimes, like whatever they're doing is just not good enough.
This is what I hear. I don't want to be a dick. That is not who I am. But fuck what ever I been doing is just not working. Lets see if this pans out.
I really need this promotion, probably the only thing that is going to snap me back sigh.